I was lucky enough to catch up with the beautiful Portia to chat about life as a mother, divorce and moving on. Here she shares her thoughts on dating during a pandemic and looking for love in your 40's...
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I’m a Mum of two kids so I need to embrace my life now as a Mother. However, I am also a single woman looking for love in her 40’s after a 19yr relationship. In this crazy world that is not as easy as it’s sounds. Looking for love is much like walking through a muddy field. Some bits are smooth, sometimes you slip and stumble your way through and other times you feel you have everything in control. But one things for sure it is not worth loosing a welly over!
There is a lot of time wasting with online dating now, many people bored at home wondering what can I do to break the routine of Netflix. Not to mention the expectations put upon you once you connect with someone that this could possibly be “the one” and save me from a lifetime of loneliness!
But how does a single mum date during a pandemic? Is it acceptable for your kids to know you're off on another walk with a “friend” Should I be accepting my fate of singledom and embracing a life of “I'm a Celebrity” being my main source of entertainment for 2020?
Magnum (her pup) and I have had our share of dog walks over the past few months, with a variety of different breeds. One thing always remains the same, the expectation! We live in hope this next one will take us off the online dating scene and we can finally share that movie with someone special!
However, when it’s second time round, with no destination in sight or boxes to tick, is it harder to settle down and make a commitment? Do we become addicted to the thrill of online dating and the next swipe we are going to receive? Are we afraid to settle second time round, in the fear of making a wrong decision and subjecting ourselves to another 5/10/20yrs with the wrong person?
One thing is for sure most of the people/dogs we have met have actually been lovely, but it’s not so easy turning a pleasant date into something more when you're trying to continue being a mum and run a business, especially if the other person doesn’t have the commitments you have.
The frustrations I accumulated from dating sometimes make me want to take a vow of celibacy, but after a night watching “You’ve Got Mail” (one of my all time favourites) I’m back downloading the app and taking another leap of faith.
So what has 2020 taught me about dating in your 40s and during a pandemic? Have no expectations and never lose a welly in the mud! I’m always mindful of what I’m looking to gain from the experience and if nothing else, I make new friends.
If you have been through a similar journey or would like to share something with me please drop me a message. Laura and I are super excited to be launching a new podcast in the New Year, where we are talking life in your 40s. We would love your views and input, so let’s open up and talk about real life for a change.
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Over on her blog Portia talks openly about how she transformed her life after hitting rock bottom with pressures of motherhood and running a business, then being diagnosed with a thyroid condition and depression, and how she went on a voyage of self discovery with the help of yoga and mediation. Becoming fitter, healthier and more confident she now helps others transition through difficult periods in their lives and shares how they too can become the best versions of themselves. Read more over on her blog at yogamumontherun.co.uk
"The biggest and most important change has been my confidence. I now value myself and understand the importance of making myself a priority."